Sad but Not Despairing

On Good Friday the father of one of our church members died. He had not been in bad health in particular but was 86 years old. Evidently he just laid down sometime in the day and didn't wake up.

One of my friends asked me last night if I was having a good Friday. I told him what happened and he said what a sad day. I responded that Good Friday is supposed to be sad. He said but not that sad.

He's right. The first Good Friday was the saddest day ever. Hope died. But since that first Good Friday, nothing is as sad as that day because other deaths now have lost their sting.

On Saturday despair must have reigned as the reality sunk in. That's probably how my church member feels today too.

But on Sunday morning, dawn brought a tremendous surprise. Jesus had risen, just like he said. And hope won, despair was dashed, eternity opened for all.

I'm sure my church friend will still feel sad tomorrow. But the resurrection brings hope of reunion, and that takes the edge off our grief.

It's Not Killing Us

For Lent I have observed several disciplines, one of which involves abstaining from sugar. This has impacted me in particular during this long cold March when spring refused to show up, and I had to resist my favorite cold weather comfort, Starbucks hot chocolate.

Today I needed to buy the Easter flowers for church, and stopped in a grocery across town with a Starbucks conveniently located as I entered the front door. I looked longingly at the options as I walked by, thinking to myself, "It's killing me."

The moment these words formed in my head I thought how ludicrous this sentiment is, especially today. Much of the point of Lenten deprivations lies in the reminder of Christ's sacrifice on our behalf. On Good Friday to even consider comparing my abstaining from hot chocolate with the sacrificial death on the cross of Jesus proves laughable. I embarrassed myself even thinking such a thing.

Years ago I stopped letting my children use the common expression, "I'm starving." I told them no matter how hungry they may be, starving did not apply. People in other countries starve.

Today I realized how ridiculous it probably ever is to say "It's killing me." Perhaps it applies if one has cancer, or is overworking to the point of destroying their health, but most of the time when we use this expression no real threat of loss of life exists.

I'm also reminded that although Jesus could have said, "They're killing me" about his enemies, he actually chose to lay down his life for us. He could have avoided the whole drama of Good Friday, but he willingly sacrificed himself.

Lent will end soon. I'm looking forward to hot chocolate again. But I hope I also remember the lessons of Lent.

Trusting the Plan

From John Ortberg's book Who is This Man?:

"Leadership, says Harvard’s Ron Heifetz, is the art of disappointing people at a rate they can stand. In the last week of his life, Jesus exceeded the disappointment rate." 

The people couldn't handle how Jesus wouldn't step up to their expectation of a physical kingdom. So they killed him for it.

That historical death of Jesus is over. But aren't we guilty of something similar?  When Jesus doesn't live up to our expectations in some way, we bail too. Whether we actually lose our faith or not, we often disengage in frustration when we don't get our way.

We'd rather Jesus be our puppet, just like the people of his time on earth wanted. We have a hard time letting Jesus do it His way.

Maybe we should trust Jesus to have the best plan. That resurrection idea worked out pretty well.

Faithful

Today I am grateful that my husband is hardwired for faithfulness. His Myers-Briggs describes him as a pillar of society, and he brims with integrity and unwavering loyalty. What a gift that is.

When couples experience infidelity, the injured party usually wonders, "what did I do?" Even in a "bad" relationship, the choice to respond with unfaithfulness is just that, a choice. Having marital issues does not need to result in infidelity, and blaming the spouse for your own unfaithfulness is scapegoating.

I want to have a marriage that is more than just faithful, I want it to be full of mutual joy. But I am grateful for this bedrock of fidelity that makes trust and vulnerability possible. Thank you Roger.

The Reality of Holy Week

For most folks, Palm Sunday flows right into Easter Sunday. One Sunday they are celebrating Jesus' popularity as he rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, and the next Sunday they rejoice in the resurrection. What a nice sequence of events!

If we look at Holy Week this way, we lose the significance of what happened. Resurrection means little without the betrayal of Maundy Thursday, the torture and death of Good Friday, the anxious waiting of Holy Saturday. Even these earlier days of this week are represented in the Gospels as times of sparring with the officials and continued teachings and interactions of Jesus.

Consider how you can grasp the reality of this week. Attend a Maundy Thursday or Good Friday service. Fast part of this week. Participate in a prayer vigil or holy waiting. Plan on a sunrise service. Read the story of the passion in your Bible.

Resurrection means a lot more when we see from whence it came, when we grasp the depth of sacrifice made our on behalf. Determine to participate in this week in a way that deepens your gratitude for the risen Savior.

All God

In the past month we've had visitors at church weekly. All are folks who have moved into our neighborhood, which is the focus of our ministry. Some have returned, some haven't, but even having them come try us out can only be attributed to God attracting them.

I greatly appreciate the work of the Holy Spirit in their hearts to interest them in attending. May God guide them to the church they need to connect with.

Discernment with Divine Appointments

Tonight before going to an Emmaus event I stopped in Sam's Club. There I ran into the woman I served with in Emmaus last spring, picking up photos for this weekend's walk.

As I walked to my car, a woman approached me asking for help. She cried while telling me of her granny's funeral, being lost and needing gas and her special needs son who needed food. I listened trying to discern her authenticity. Roger and I don't give cash to strangers, but I offered to follow her to a gas station and buy her gas. When I did so, she said she would ask someone else for cash to buy food for her son. She walked away and I knew she wasn't sincere and I was relieved not to have fallen for it.

When she began talking I wondered if this was a divine appointment. It's easy to rush to help, but that can lead to helping people continue negative life patterns, so I was grateful for caution.

Arranging

Earlier this week I mentioned how God got Mark to University Hospital here in Cincinnati. Today one of our own folks, John, is having surgery at the same hospital. Now that may seem insignificant, but you have to realize how many hospitals Cincinnati has.

This makes it easier to visit them both, but also adds to prayer power. John's mom is my chief prayer warrior, so I can put her onto Mark's case up close and personal. She is disabled so would not usually get out to a hospital to pray for someone, and of course she can pray from home, but nothing like personal contact to up our prayers.

Words Will Be Given

Many times I have quoted these words from Luke 21 when facing a challenging adversary:
13 And so you will bear testimony to me. 14 But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. 15 For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict.

My husband Roger's organization City Gospel Mission has been locked in a legal battle for years over a new location and the neighbors that don't want them there. Despite continued victories on the side of the Mission the neighbors continue to think of new tactics.

Today Roger had to testify, and lawyers are good at twisting our words, confusing us, making it hard to communicate the truth clearly. We have been praying for Roger to be calm and speak as God would want.

Last night at Bible study, guess where we were in our journey through the Gospel of Luke? Yes, reading those words I quoted above. No coincidence there.

And today the Holy Spirit guided Roger, the lawyers labeled him their star witness, and the Mission again won their appeal. Praise God.

Please pray for more funding so they can break ground on this new building that will great bless the homeless and needy of Cincinnati. Thanks. 

More Holy Tracking

At night I turn off my cell phone, because I'm such a light sleeper a text message will wake me. Once awakened I can really struggle to return to sleep.

Last night I didn't want to turn it off because I gave that number to the family of Mark in ICU. I woke up about 3:30 to go to the restroom and I was literally holding my phone when my brother texted me about his latest medical progress. (He lives in California, so not so late for him.) Since I was already awake this did not disturb my sleep and I was glad to get the message.

More Coordination (for Tuesday)

Over the weekend a trucker named Mark had a stroke while driving through Kentucky and had to be admitted to University Hospital here in Cincinnati. His sister-in-law attends a Free Methodist Church in Lansing, one whose pastor was also at CUE with me last week. Because of this connection, Christians here in Cincinnati have been able to reach out and care for the family and pray for the trucker.

We have a lot of cities in our country without Free Methodist Churches, but God sent Mark to a city where connections could be made for his benefit and to support his family.

Holy Tracking

Several times in the last few days I've had a special sense of knowledge or sensitivity. Last week I had a song in mind that the next person we saw quoted. Another day I thought of someone then heard from them.

Today I texted my brother to check on him and he texted me at the same time. You have to understand that my brother doesn't communicate with me much. He thought it was weird timing. And he's not a believer.

I haven't done anything to orchestrate any of this. But perhaps trying to pay attention to God's workings has heightened my sensitivity to the movings of the Holy Spirit. Lord, direct my path.

St. Patrick

When I was arranging my wedding one of the places I called upon hearing my name asked if I was marrying an Irish boy. Roger does has some Irish blood mixed with the British.

At times being Irish can be embarrassing, and the way people act on St. Paddy's Day would be one of them.

But as for the original saint, he inspires me. After being captured as a slave by the Irish and escaping, he felt God calling him back to the land of his captivity to reach the Irish with the gospel.

What I really like about his approach is he didn't try to rob the Irish of all of their customs. He didn't try to turn them into British Christians. They kept their own flavor to their faith. That was brilliant, and the missionary movement of later years sure could have learned from him.

As I minister to others of different culture than myself may God give me the wisdom to allow their own practices to continue, and yet follow Christ. Thank you St. Patrick for showing the way.

Moving with the Spirit

This morning at our urban conference I had to fill in for the devotional speaker who had been in the hospital earlier this week for gallbladder stones.

My morning reading as I travel through the Bible was Joshua, which I had also been reading about in the Circle Maker book, concerning walking around Jericho before the battle. We planned to pray in the nation's capital, so this formed a perfect text for our day.

Later we prayed in front of the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. memorial, and as we finished the song came to mind "on Christ the solid rock I stand." Then we visited a church, where the pastor quoted that song.

Next we saw the United Methodist building where another of our Free Methodist church plants worships. The church I pastor started in a United Methodist building, which they later gave us, so I prayed this would happen to New Vision in the City as well. I look forward to hearing the future results of those prayers.

Passing the Baton

In 1987 I took my first born child to our Free Methodist urban conference (CUE), a babe of two months. This morning that baby now grown taught a workshop at CUE on race in the church. I have heard Nora share her material before. But the first time today that I heard her step up with authority and exercise group management, calling out adults more than twice her age and keeping them on track, even I was taken aback. She not only knows her material, she knows how to facilitate a difficult topic with a group.

This particular group of people have prayed for her over the years, today they saw the fruit of their prayers.

Flying

Not a new miracle, but still unbelievable that a heavy piece of metal full of people can soar like a bird and deliver me in one hour what takes all day to drive, and even longer to walk. Modern transportation provides us with access to events previously not possible, as I attend our denominational urban conference today. I will reunite with friends from California, all able to gather because of this modern miracle of human ingenuity and the laws of the universe created by an amazing God.

I am grateful for flight. (I left today from the Dayton, Ohio airport, the home of the Wright Brothers!)

Orders My Steps

Today I was frustrated when I realized I forgot my coupons so I had to go home after my therapy appointment before stopping at the grocery.

When I got home I arrived at the very moment a friend was bringing clothing to donate to Roger's work. He was able to load it all into my van directly for Roger to deliver.

Then I had to take crutches to an injured parishioner. I arrived when the physical therapist was visiting, which answered a question about why his nurse hadn't come, and took care of another issue for me.

On this day before I leave town, I appreciate God's extra help.

God Knew

This winter I saw my friend's wife in Santa Barbara the week before her mother died. I have only met her twice, her husband travels more so I have seen him more often.

Her mother died on the same date as my mother years ago. So a month after her mom died I contacted her to tell her I was thinking about her on that date.

Sunday morning I dreamed that this couple came to visit me and I was able to comfort her in person. When I emailed her about my dream, she responded, "Such timing – today is my birthday – thanks for sharing your dream."

I didn't know it was her birthday. My first birthday after my mother died was one of my hardest days, and if I had known, I would have certainly reached out. But I don't think it was a coincidence I dreamed about her on that day.

Circles

The same day I finished reading the Circle Maker, which talks about marching around places we want to claim, I called my friend Erin. She said her husband John wanted to apply for a job that seems like a great fit for him at the VA Hospital, and she wanted to march around the hospital 7 times like Joshua did Jericho. I told her I'd come too! I had just finished reading about that very thing, and I don't believe in coincidence.  I believe in God's timing.

So today their family and I marched around the hospital, praying for favor, asking God to install John there where he could share the compassion of Christ with veterans. Looking forward to good news!

Drumming

Earlier this week I mentioned our need for a drummer. Tonight we had a guest at our church who is a drummer. That doesn't mean he's staying, but I did ask the group to pray for a drummer for us, so we'll see what happens.

Also at this meeting (a city wide invitation) was a woman who used to work for Roger when we first met. I hadn't seen her in years so it was quite a treat to reconnect. I was admiring her for how she worshiped, then figured out I knew her.

Tonight was also Roger's birthday, and the group sang to him and prayed for us. Without any family in town that felt like a nice substitute.


Send that drummer Lord!

Good News

For months my shoulder has been hurting. The chiropractor hasn't been able to help, and suggested I see an orthopedic. I dreaded being told I'd need surgery.

I postponed the visit for awhile, trying to see if a better diet would help. No change.

Today I saw a doctor we used years back, who has the nicest bedside manner of any doctor I know. I enjoyed seeing him again.

And I enjoyed even more being told it's tendonitis, not a tear requiring surgery. What a relief!

Still a Dream (for Wed)

Recently I finished reading Mark Batterson's book, Prayer Maker. Much of his book I like, Jesus suggested bold praying like the widow who pommeled the judge with her insistence.

But much of it left me discouraged. For example, Mark's church needed a drummer early on. God told him to get a drum set. He bought a drum set, even though funds were tight, and the next Sunday a professional drummer showed up.

I have a drum set at church, and my son played until he left for college last year. I have prayed consistently for a new drummer, to no avail as of yet.

Mark marched around DC and prayed like Joshua for wherever he put his feet. We have done that kind of praying here in our neighborhood...but not had the same results.

However when God was directing my playlist on prayer day (see Soundtrack of My Soul) I heard "Still a Dream" a Nicole C Mullen song I created a video for about our church.

We may not be huge, but we have accomplished something rare in this country, an integrated church. That was our dream, and it still is, and I appreciate God reminding me.

Soundtrack of My Soul

This morning on my walk I started my music without realizing it was on shuffle. Of course I like everything on my playlist, but today God sure picked what I needed to hear.

The first surprise song was Still a Dream, which reminded me of my dream for a diverse church being realized, more on that tomorrow.

I also heard Amazing Grace, My Chains are Gone, a favorite at our church which we just sang Sunday as we prayed for folks to be set free.

Another was Joyfully, which is one of my favorite joyful songs, based on Psalm 23.

Then Never Once, which reminds me I am never alone. I first loved this song when I heard it after Junia's accident, so it has a special meaning for me. I noticed for the first time an extra phrase Matt Redman says in his recording that's not in the music, "we shall not be overcome." I have been feeling overcome, so that was a good reminder.

I am grateful for God's orchestrating my soundtrack this morning.

Helping

This morning I was thinking about a particular young person I know. Later she texted me because she needed help with how to file her taxes.  I was able to direct her to what had used for my kids. She did the work herself and got a great refund, which she never had received before. I was glad to help in a small way and even more gad she got a refund!

Praises

Each week at church we share our praises. Today one of our folks shared a job promotion! This is a great blessing for her financial situation. Premature twins we have prayed for both are now home from the hospital. A woman and her daughter we haven't seen in a year came to worship. Another young man we've been praying for came for his third time. Praise God for these blessings and more.

Welcome March

Welcome March.

Beneath your petticoats hides spring.

As Sun rises sooner

And Moon retires later

And Rain soaks your skirts

So that flowers burst forth to herald approaching warmth

May Spring have courage to step out and receive

A hero’s salute

For valiantly rescuing us from the captivity of Winter.

My Dog

Today I had to catch my dog when she almost tumbled down the stairs. She's 14, in regular years. A shepherd mutt.

We got her at Christmas 2000; she was two years old and her owner was getting remarried and his new wife had a cat and didn't want the dog.

That coming February my mom died unexpectedly, throwing me deep into a paroxysm of grief. Sunny sensed my pitiful state and brought me great comfort. She's been "my" dog ever since.

I'm glad I could catch her today. I'm not sure where this is going, sadly. But I am grateful for the comfort this furry creation of God has been to me over the years, my constant companion, the Holy Spirit with fur, not that the Holy Spirit inhabits my dog, but she has been a concrete expression of unconditional love and regard that I appreciate.

We humans are created uniquely in the image of God. But certainly all of creation reflects and "images" God in some fashion.

I've been carrying her up and down the stairs ever since. She took a turn carrying me, it's the least I can do.