Pausing from Grief

Monday morning a local radio DJ explained that he watched part of the vigil from Newtown the night before, but that he had to keep turning away from it, because it was so overwhelming.

I could understand this. My mother's unexpected, unnecessary death plunged me into a paroxysm of grief that lasted a full year, until I again reached that fateful day in February and decided to forgive the doctor and move on.

To get past grief requires walking through the river of  sorrow to the other side where healing waits, and sometimes the water swells threatening to drown you. You can back out of the river and take a break, you can hold someone's hand and brave the rapids, you can try to swim against the current, but whatever strategy you adopt, you must have the courage to cross the river to finally reach healing.

But when it's someone else's river, it's really hard to want to plunge into the raging water. And the water of this river flowing from Newtown is especially chilling, rapid and deep, as it contains the grief of so many, and so young, and so senseless.

The rest of us watching prefer to do little more than dip our toes in from time to time. Those with small children find themselves especially drawn to the river by virtue of association.

But those bereaved by this tragedy have no choice, they cannot stand on the bank and watch. They can't take a break, or turn off the TV to dismiss the pain.

The rest of us don't have to swim this river, but we can sure pray for those who do, and stand by with life preservers in case we can help in some way. 

Just this morning I read again the story of Jonah, who when the waters threatened to overcome him, found respite in a fish. I don't know what unusual means God will provide to comfort the bereaved, but I do know that God never abandons us, despite the feeling of drowning, and I pray that all those in pain turn to God for that comfort.


God can seem far away at times like these, even when we hold hard to God's hand. But indeed God is always close, even when all evidence fails to reveal God's presence, and I am praying for these families that the waters do not overwhelm them but that they feel supported, loved and cared for. Even when the dark descends:
even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you. Psalm 139

When God Weeps

While cleaning my room and contemplating today's tragic school shooting in Connecticut, I saw my copy of  When God Weeps by Joni Eareckson Tada. If God ever weeps, it would be days like today.

God has an interesting position, because in Revelation we read that God will wipe away every tear from our eyes. God lives outside of time, so in one reality, God has all those children and teachers and they are reunited with their families and all is joy and peace.

But God is still present here in our reality, and here God weeps with us. In fact as those parents grieve the loss of their children, an unimaginable loss to me, God needs no imagination, because God has suffered in that very way, the loss of a child. God knows this pain. God has walked this road.

I pray that today all those bereaved by this tragedy sense God's walking beside them. And the rest of us too, as best we know how.

Waiting

As we enter into the season of Advent, remember that Advent is about waiting.

 

We're not very good at waiting these days. We have created an instant culture, where we get fast food, or cook in microwaves, reduce our world to sound bites and video reconstructions and expect a quick pay back on our spiritual investment.

 

Jesus waited for millennia to show up on earth the first time. Now it's been a couple more thousand years waiting for Jesus to come back again. But when it finally happens, or when we leave this life for eternity, these years will be a blink of an eye, and we'll have a never ending moment to be with Jesus.

 

I almost said, "I can't wait," which is true, but a little ironic, because wait we must. And practicing waiting is good for all of us. Builds patience, and we all need that, especially this time of year.

 

So practice. When you're in that long line at the store, remember when it's finally your turn how hard it must be to be that employee helping everyone. Say something kind.

 

When you see that harried mother trying to herd children and shop, see if you can hold the door or help in some way. Or that older person struggling with packages, try to lighten their load.

 

Model waiting. Because after all, Jesus is waiting on us. Waiting on us to become the people God created us to be. And that really takes patience.

Sibling Rivalry

As parents we managed to avoid most sibling rivalry between our four offspring by raising them to root for each other, to take ownership in one another's successes so that instead of being jealous they were excited for each other. When one of them succeeds at some accomplishment, the rest feel proud.

Today Howard Snyder's daily Facebook prayer contained this line: "Fill me with your love and regard for others, and deliver me from all jealousy when others succeed or surpass me in areas where I would like to excel or be known."

My first thought was how comforting it was to know I'm not the only one who struggles this way, a form of misery loves company.

My second thought was that if I could take the same kind of ownership for others as my children  have for each other, I wouldn't feel jealous. 

Romans 12:15 says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." I've often said it can be easier to mourn with people than to rejoice with them. Rejoicing requires acceptance of their victory.

If I could truly own the sibling nature of humanity, then instead of sibling rivalry, feel a sense of partnership with others, I could rejoice when others succeed, instead of wishing that were me. And when I did succeed, I've have siblings rooting for me as well.

That is the essence of Howard's prayer, asking God to fill him with such love and regard for others that jealousy has no place. 

Lord, reshape us in this form. Give us courage to allow you to do so. Show us how to truly celebrate the victories of others, trusting you to give us the victories we need when we need them. Amen.

Hymns

Worship Wars started decades ago. When contemporary choruses came out, people battled over choruses versus hymns.

We sing both at our church. And I love both.

This week I had a younger person say she liked a certain group who were updating hymns. A funny video of someone else had a hip person say he liked hymns.

So hymns are "in" again. But then this need to update them.

I too have enjoyed some of the "updates," sometimes a faster pace, a different tune that's more singable. Our church loves the added chorus of "My Chains are Gone" to Amazing Grace.

But today as I was singing Blessed Assurance, I thought, "What's wrong with the old versions?"

Many of them were once bar tunes themselves, as Charles Wesley often used popular tunes for his hymns.

It doesn't really matter if we sing them with new hip tunes, a new pace, or the same old way. Many hymns have depth missing in some choruses.

Truth is, I love them both, which is why we still sing both at our church. Come on over.

Not Yet Me

Over the last year plus I've been on a journey to better health, working to exercise, eat right, lose weight. This week when observing my physical progress the phrase came to mind, "I'm not yet the me I want to be."

Originally I had in mind my body and how I hope to improve it even more, but then I realized it also applies to my whole personhood. I believe God isn't finished with me yet, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

I'm not yet the me I want to be.

I believe God has a marvelous me in mind, one totally conformed to the image of Christ. That won't be fully realized until I see Christ face to face in heaven, but I am holding on to hope that each day I get closer.

It's not that I have "backslidden" in the ways we usually think of that term, falling into some kind of sinful abyss. But I continue to struggle to be the fully selfless creation God expects of me.

I'm going to like me a lot more when I'm fully reformed. You are too. Meanwhile, I keep trying to make progress, hoping to be closer this day than last, this year than last. Thank the Lord for the patience, grace and mercy extended. God could give up on us all like he did those of Noah's generation, for every inclination of the human heart is toward evil. O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be.

I look forward to that new me. Bring it on Lord.

Closest to God

Many gardens display this plaque, "One is closer to God in a garden, than anywhere else on earth." Certainly the peacefulness of a quiet place helps us focus on God and listen for God's voice. In that way, the saying holds true.

But biblically speaking, I'm not so sure. Creation starts in a garden, but ends in a city. Eden provided the first home for humanity, but God drove us from there in our sin, so we would not partake of the tree of life and live forever in our brokenness. When heaven is drawn for us in Revelation, we find the New Jerusalem, coming down from heaven as the Bride of Christ. A city.

People built cities to live together. Humanity is the crown of creation, as God created us in God's image, male and female. As creations in the image of God, inhabited by God's spirit, the more people around, the more we are present with God.

The noise of the city disturbs our quiet reflections, and yet God also loves the poor, so God is surely present in the squalor of urban despair.

We just need eyes to see. We easily see God in the beauty of plants and trees and flowers and swans swimming peacefully on a quiet pond. But if we really look with God's eyes, we will see God in the faces of every passerby on a city street, every child jumping rope in the alley, every elderly man sitting on a park bench, every woman dragging her children to the grocery.

We can find God anywhere we look. Try looking at your neighbors more closely.

We Need a Savior

John Stott writes that although Jesus is our example, that is not enough, we need him as our Savior. We need the Holy Spirit to empower us to follow the example of Christ.

When we read the Gospels, we see how Jesus responded to people. We see how he treated those who treated him poorly. We see how he returned kindness for disdain and rejection. We see how he handled their disbelief. These actions set a standard for us. Yet we find ourselves challenged by the effort of trying to turn the other cheek as Jesus taught and modeled.

That's why we need a Savior. We are not capable of following Jesus' example, or even Paul's, without the help of God. We stand powerless to obey. But thank the Lord, through the blood of Christ we are forgiven, and the indwelling Holy Spirit empowers us to make right choices. By that power we can follow the example of Jesus.

The bar seems high, and so it is, but by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can clear it!

Long Obedience in the Same Direction

I named my blog A Long Obedience in the Same Direction because I pastor the church I planted 26 years ago.

Praise God for the Free Methodist Church, which considers its pastors tenured, and doesn't arbitrarily move them around. If the church and pastor are happy, they are allowed to continue serving God together.

Research has shown that longer pastorates produce better results. And certainly you gain some history with people, which can turn into opportunities.

One of those happened for me today. It's not too often you can remember how long you've known someone or ministered to them, unless a significant event triggers that beginning.

We have a wonderful prayer warrior who has been part of our church from the beginning. Twenty-four years ago I visited her son in jail, I know this because I was pregnant with my second daughter, and she just turned 24.

I reminded him of that today when I visited the mom to take her communion (she doesn't get out much now) and he joined our conversation.

When it came time to serve communion, I explained to the son that my mentor (Rev. Walter Orr) who had given me the communion set I was using had taught me that anyone could come to the Lord's Table if they came with a repentant heart. He said he wanted to. I told him I would help him pray. I offered a simple line like "Lord forgive my sins."

He hesitated, and I wondered if he'd feel comfortable praying aloud, and then the next thing I knew, he asked for forgiveness, and kept going. He apologized for his choices, times he had let God down, told God how he always knew God was with him, and also asked Jesus to be in his heart. All without any further prompting from me.

Twenty-four years is a long time to pray for someone to come to Christ. But it's nothing in light of eternity. I would say I had the privilege of leading someone to Christ today. But I didn't even lead, the Holy Spirit did that.

Not a blessing I would have had, if not for the privilege of pastoring in the same place for over two and a half decades. Thank you Jesus, and thank you to a denomination that allows such. And thank you to Rev. Orr, for teaching me that the Lord's Table can be a place for conversion. I'm sure Rev. Orr is partying with the angels right now.

A Drawer for Insurance

In Sharon Creech's children's book The Unfinished Angel Mr. Pomodoro was once a poor child whose mother brought home a box of chocolate covered cookies for her children. He knew that when shared he would only get one cookie, so he snuck the box to the basement and ate them all, enjoying their chocolately goodness.

As an adult, Mr. Pomodoro has a drawer full of chocolates of every kind, so that whenever he wants, he can open the drawer and select a chocolate. And now he doesn't really need to, but it's like insurance to him.

The angel of the story draws a parallel to a drawer in our head, where all of us stuff something we need to hold onto for insurance, something we felt deprived of, friendly words or looks or praise.

Saving up kindness and appreciation can surely bring comfort on those days when we feel neglected or misused. Jesus said a cup of cold water given in His name will not lose it's reward. I have mostly thought of that verse as meaning we are stockpiling rewards in heaven. But perhaps just as importantly, we are depositing into other people's drawers, helping them get through the difficult moments of their lives.

My aunt had a safety deposit box at her bank, something most people don't use anymore. A place to keep the most valuable objects one wouldn't want to leave around the house. These drawers within others can hold even more important treasure, lasting into eternity, formed of kindness and helpful actions, loving words, encouraging looks, applause for accomplishments.

Make a deposit in someone you love today. Or even better, in someone you don't particularly enjoy.

Waiting for Heaven

I can't wait to see Jesus. But I will wait.

I can't wait until the times are complete and I can be with my parents again. I can't wait until I get to see my children all the time instead of sending them off to various parts of the earth.

But I will wait.

I'll wait until Jesus says so, and I look forward to my family growing even larger with maybe even grandchildren in the future. And I look forward to the amazing contributions of my children to their professional realms, as they spread their influence and find their voices.

But at moments it's hard to wait, when I listen to Endless Hallelujah by Matt Redman is one of those moments. "No more tears, No more shame, No more sin and sorrow ever known again; No more fears, No more pain, We will see You face to face, See You face to face..."

I can't wait. But I will wait, I'll wait and serve and try to do God's will daily.

I look forward to having my family all together, parents and children and future offspring. But really the blessing of heaven is Jesus, face to face. Unimaginable.

Bill Trimble reminded me of that yesterday. Bill preached part of the funeral of Carol Erickson, mother of Bill's late wife Jan. Bill said after he lost Jan he had a dream, and in that dream he was in heaven with Jan. He was so happy to see her. After greeting him, Jan got down to the important stuff as she was wont to do, and said, "Enough small talk, let's go see Jesus." Bill reminded all of us that although Carol would be glad to see Jan and her mother and other family, the real attraction of heaven is Jesus.

So I'll wait, and I hope to wait a long time, to see my children's children, to see the fruit of my labors at church, to see my children's contributions to the world, but at times I yearn for that moment, face to face.

And in the end, the waiting is a flash, washed into the eternity of the now in Jesus' presence. Yes, Matt Redman, an Endless Hallelujah.

Risk for the Earth

Some years ago I first joined a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) with Martin Hill Farms, buying produce from Farmer Mike. That means that at the beginning of the year I pay up front to get weekly produce during the season. Farmer Mike gets the capital needed to buy seeds and supplies and I get beautiful natural heirloom fruits and vegetables.

Recently I read the book In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan where the author distills his book into seven words: Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. He further explains that when he says food, that is not a given in our currently processed world. Reading Pollan's book made me all the more convinced that my CSA is an important part of how our family eats.

Not long after reading Pollan's book Farmer Mike shared some of the dilemmas he has faced recently. Farming is not a profitable business. Even with our capital up front, Mike hardly can make it work. A dry summer, a wet summer, a hot summer, rain on market day, heat on market day, market day falling on Fourth of July, so many things work against the best results. Mike told us in this email that we were taking a risk. I never thought of it like that before, I never realized that I was risking my money when I paid my share up front.

Everyday people line up to buy lottery tickets, believing they're going to get a payoff. They take that risk. And rarely gain a return. Risking money on good food is not only good for the health of my family, it's good for the earth, which desperately needs the kind of healthy wholesome agriculture Farmer Mike and his colleagues practice.

Opt into a CSA. Shop at farmer's markets. Buy real food. Do your part, despite the risk. We're all in this together.

The Mind of Christ

This summer we are studying 1 Corinthians at church. I chose sermons from the book for each week, and at Bible study on Wednesday we read all the chapters that lead up to that text. A couple of weeks ago we were studying chapter 2. Right before the end it has a quote, which leaves the last phrase set apart on the page.

But we have the mind of Christ.

Just sitting out there by itself.

But we have the mind of Christ.

It smacked me between the eyes, really? We do? Do I? Not so much. That would mean my thoughts are selfless, loving, kind, gracious, forgiving, all the time.

All week that was on my mind. Another week went by, and I was driving to an appointment and a particular driver gave me a lot of trouble. First the driver cut me off in traffic. Then she was in front of me on the exit, then put on her brakes, slowed down on the highway to change to the other lane. It was both scary and maddening. I was late to the appointment too, and the reason I was late was I had lost something important at home, so it was just a frustrating day all around. When that car stopped on the highway, I just started yelling. Then I said to myself, “I’m supposed to have the mind of Christ. How do I do that?”

Then something new hit me. That sentence has a plural subject. It says WE have the mind of Christ. I’m not capable of having the mind of Christ by myself. But together, we can have the mind of Christ. That night one of my pastor friends wrote on Facebook about carrying each other’s burdens. That was the night of that bad day. I asked him to carry me for a bit. He said he’d pray for me. 

Together we can have the mind of Christ, because when one is down another can be up, and when one is struggling to do the right thing, another can remind them it’s worth it, and when one is sad and lonely, another can encourage them. It takes all of us working together to be who we need to be in Jesus.

So let's have the mind of Christ, together.

Men and Church

Recently various complaints and campaigns have attacked the attitude of the church toward men. The gist of these complaints alleges that churches emasculate men. They point to the shortage of men in churches. They also note what has been called "Jesus is My Boyfriend" songs. They encourage our churches to be more men-friendly.

As a woman pastor, I find this all rather ironic. Yes, more women attend church than men. But who "runs" most churches? Men. Every mega-church is pastored by a man, perhaps with his wife, but no current listed top growing or largest church is pastored by a woman.

And as for those "Jesus is My Boyfriend" songs, who's writing those? Men. We'd have to sit down and decide which songs fall into that category to verify that it's only men, but most top worship songs are written by men, and the ones I can think of that I would say communicate this sentiment the strongest are written by men.

One video that is bemoaning the emasculation of men in the church has a newly emasculated man (yes, literally) showing up at the bar to drink beer with his male friends. Does being a real man mean you have to drink beer in bars? What about "real" Christian men that don't drink? Does that mean they're not "real" men?

I'm all for making men, and women, feel more welcome in the church. But I'm not sure we've really properly diagnosed the problem. The women pastors I know find men to be prevalent and strong in their churches. I personally think less authoritarian leadership attracts men, they don't have to fight for control and attention.

I also am not a big fan of "Jesus is My Boyfriend" songs, because I think the church ought to be singing songs with plural pronouns, not singular.

Personally I think the solution to this "problem" does not lie in looking for culturally constructed solutions, like drinking beer in bars. A healthy church is grounded in the model of the New Testament, where whole families came to Christ. The NT church was not individualistic like most American churches, so these concerns did not even exist. If we focus on the model we find there, everyone will find a place.

Cats, Dogs, and Mothers

Mother's Day returns this Sunday. Not having my own mother or grandmothers around anymore changes this day drastically. I can't express my appreciation to them in person or via phone anymore. Most of us don't appreciate our mothers enough until we really grow up.

In fact, children are like cats or dogs. Those who are like cats don't pay much attention to their mother's existence. If she were missing they'd notice their food supply dried up. But when she walks into the room, they continue with what they were doing, or leave even.

Others are like dogs. When their mom enters the room, they immediately respond in some way. If she leaves for awhile, they are glad when she returns. In fact, they make her feel like the center of their universe.

If your mom still resides on this earth, try giving her some puppy love for Mother's Day.

Eastertide

Resurrection doesn't end on a spring Sunday. The church calendar calls the season between Resurrection Sunday and Pentecost Eastertide. For forty days until the Ascension Jesus kept showing up visiting various disciples. Then 10 days later the Holy Spirit showed up to the gathered group, and has been showing up ever since.

The power won by the resurrection and endowed on us by the Holy Spirit is for always. So the fun of Easter eggs and cantatas may be over for this year, but the best part continues, the reality of what it means for Jesus to have risen from the dead.

Victory over sin! Freedom to make the right choice! Escape from death! These are the vestiges we live in daily, when we choose to fully walk in the power of what Jesus offers.

I love spring, it's a whole lot easier to believe in resurrection. My friend noted to me last week that celebrating Easter in the southern hemisphere where fall is bringing winter would feel very different. But whatever the weather outside, new life is available because of Jesus' victory. Celebrate!

Human History Hinges Here

When I awoke on this Good Friday contemplating the significance of this day, I applied to it the phrase Human History Hinges Here.

Last Sunday we had our youth discuss what is different in the world because of the death and resurrection of Jesus. The short answer is, a lot.

Even for those who don't believe in Christ, human history, as evidenced by the traditional BC and AD, changed dramatically due to the events surrounding the carpenter from Nazareth. The impact of those who followed Christ changed the trajectory of the future.

Not everyone would see these as positive changes, but history took a different turn after that fateful weekend in the tiny nation of Israel.

Contemplating that today reminds me of the impact of Jesus on the world. But I can also see it in myself. In a smaller circle that defines my life, my history is different because of Jesus.

I don't know what I'd be doing today if not for Jesus, but I wouldn't be pastoring an urban church in Cincinnati, having raised four children who are having their own impact in the world these days.

I can't really unravel my own history that has been intertwined for decades with the story of Jesus, nor can I unravel the history of humanity since that first Good Friday so long ago, but I do know that God has an amazing story line that can be traced, and I expect once graduating to an eternal perspective it will be entertaining to experience.

Meanwhile, I contemplate the significance of this day. I can only scratch the surface, but at least I find it important to pause and try. For the cross is foolishness to the world, but the power of God to those who believe. May that power be real in me today.

Food

I have a love/hate relationship with Lent and fasting. I love the discipline, I hate feeling miserable. Or deprived.

A few weeks ago I found myself wondering why did God make food so enjoyable? After all, this obesity epidemic would be easily solved if food did bring so much pleasure. What was God thinking?

But then I realized that if food were a chore, a responsibility, a necessity to good health, but not delicious, who would eat? Those very same people who eat healthy now, those in shape folks, by far the minority of our population in the States. The rest of us who overeat would undereat. If we can't be responsible when food tastes good, we'd be worse if it didn't.

Besides, for centuries people didn't overeat like we do now, because they ate food in its natural state, delicious, but not dangerous. Our processed concentrated sugars and fats have made food deadly instead of life giving.

Today I am fasting. I haven't talked about this during Lent, because the Bible tells us to do it privately. And why am I breaking my silence now? To share something that occurred to me today. At any moment I can decide to end my hunger. My misery is voluntary, and easily remedied. Most of the world doesn't have that option. They feel the desperation of true hunger daily, not the minor discomfort of postponing pleasure that I'm experiencing.

I want to get in touch with that, to realize my temporary pain is permanent for most of the world. What I really hope is that tomorrow when I can indulge again, I still remember. And I am more responsible with the privilege of eating.

Invisible Wound

When a mother gives birth, the placenta leaves a large wound that bleeds until healing. Her uterus also has to reshape itself after stretching to accommodate the baby. Typically six weeks is seen as an expected time of healing. Typically the mother is thrilled to have a baby, yet also feels the surprising sense of separation inherent in no longer carrying the child internally.

Over the next 18 or so years as the child grows in all dimensions, the mother's heart is stretched to accommodate. When the child leaves home, an invisible wound occurs as she adjusts to the physical absence of this once baby. Her heart has to figure out how to adjust to the new separation, how to reshape itself to this new reality.

Society doesn't easily recognize this adjustment. Many people rejoice in the change, and many who ask about it expect the new empty nester to be thrilled with the freedom gained. Like the original birth, joy comes with the change, and yet, nevertheless, a wound that weeps as it tries to heal.

Shouting in Silence

Zechariah suffered in silence for nine months, until John the Baptist was born. It's only been days for me since I lost my voice, but I have a few things to "say."

As best as I can remember, this is my third experience with laryngitis. The first time was around Christmas, and I had a wedding to perform. I delegated what I could to my husband to say, but then as the pastor and officiant, I had some pieces required of me. The couple dubbed their video the miracle of the voice as my voice grows stronger while I'm speaking.

This Sunday God did another miracle, in a sense two. I awoke hoarse and concerned, rallied my family to pray, knowing I needed my voice to both preach and leading singing. Our strongest singer was out of town, so my worship leading depended on my voice. I got through the whole service, which could have made me wonder if I had worried in vain, but by afternoon, my voice had left, justifying my conclusion that God had indeed spared my voice for the necessary moments.

However we still had our youth program, and I have been teaching the teen boys. They've been a bit of a challenge, so I couldn't hand that off to just anyone, but also knew I didn't have the voice to deal with them. I asked Brandon to help, thinking perhaps he could fill in for Roger with the preschoolers and Roger could tackle the older boys. Brandon is a young man who grew up in the church and with our family, who has completed his service in the Navy and is now in school.

Roger said to have Brandon do the teaching with the boys, since I would still be present to maintain order if needed. I prepped Brandon that we were doing Matthew 11:28-30, where Jesus invites us to exchange our heavy burdens for his light yoke. I told him to have them talk about their current struggles as well as concerns they might have about becoming men. As we started, the boys were all sitting quietly listening, instead of literally bouncing off the walls as they can. Brandon was explaining the passage, then started telling them about his life, being raised by a single mom with an alcohol problem. That's when I slipped from the room. He obviously didn't need me, and I thought they might have a better man talk without me.

How cool is God, I had my voice when I needed it in the morning, then losing my voice later pushed a circumstance that I would not have instigated otherwise. I will be gone next Sunday so I asked him if he'd help again. Two miracles in one day.

The other previous time I lost my voice I remember visiting my extroverted father and how frustrated he got that I couldn't talk to him. Quite frankly as an introvert, this doesn't bother me all that much. Silence appeals to me. But it does become a social problem. As I have traveled around doing errands this week, I often feel rude when I cannot simply respond in common courtesy to others.

This makes me think of those without a voice, deaf or mute, cut off from the typical communication around them. How isolating that must be.

On the up side, it's hard to complain without a voice. On the down side, it's also hard to communicate at all.

Last night I attended an Emmaus training where I am the "head" pastor. My associate had to fill in for me, which she is quite capable of. In many ways my unavailability helps others step up. No one is indispensable.

I don't have to preach this week, or lead worship, so that is good timing. However I am celebrating my oldest daughter's birthday with her sister, so I would love to be able to talk...but then again, this will leave plenty of time for me to listen!

I will enjoy being back in the world of communication again. Meanwhile, I am trying to learn what I can from the silence.

Justice and Forgiveness

We love to quote Isaiah 1 where it says though our sins be as scarlet, they will be as white as snow. We even sing about it. We love the image of our blood red dirty sins being forgiven and washed away, leaving us pure and holy.

Christmas Eve we drew verses to meditate on in the New Year, and I got this section of Scripture, except the whole part I got was:
Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. “Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. Isaiah 1:17-18

We have singled out the part we like about how God will forgive us. But the passage is really about justice, and that the people God is talking to have hands stained scarlet from injustice, which they need to fix.

So yes, claim this verse to receive cleansing. But if you really want it to work, be ready to work for justice first. Be ready to release the wrongdoing you are guilty of. And since it also includes God asking us to come to him and settle the matter, be ready to learn there is more required than you are first aware.

Exceeding Expectation

Jesus once fell asleep in the boat during a storm. The disciples awoke him, amazed at his indifference to their plight. He evidently knew it wasn't a problem. Then when they asked for his assistance, he spoke to the wind and waves and they instantly fell still.

This caused the disciples to remark, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!" He exceeded their expectations. Perhaps they expected a gradual subsiding of the storm. Or just reassurance of survival despite the storm, like Paul later gave his shipmates in a storm. Instead Jesus fixed it.

Ephesians 3:20 says "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us", can do IMMEASURABLY more than we can ask or IMAGINE. Wow. That's saying something.

So why doesn't this happen more? Perhaps because like the disciples, we don't expect it? We don't even allow it? What if we got out of God's way and let God really do something dramatic?

Promises

On Christmas Eve we had a special service where each person could select a gift, a wrapped box containing a Biblical promise. As I chose verses to include, I got really excited about some of them. I would find myself saying, I’d like that verse. When the time came to choose, and I opened my box, and read my verse, and I was disappointed. It wasn’t the verse I wanted. What is more, I felt like it was a verse I already had well in hand, something I was already doing. I would guess that God didn’t think so.

The premise of the activity was that all the verses would be good life guides, but that the Holy Spirit would supervise who got what verse. That would trust that God knows what we could use to guide us.

Here’s the amazing part of the Bible. My verse starting by saying, “Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.” Now I feel like I already do that, defend the oppressed and the fatherless and the widow. So I could take that God gave this verse as an affirmation and encouragement of the work he has already given me to do. In addition, this verse begins by saying Learn to do right. That is a lifelong lesson. We know what is right, but to apply it correctly in every situation, that is an everyday learning experience. I can’t honestly say that I still need to work on that, all of us will always be continuing to learn to do right. So this verse certainly applies to me.

The verse I wanted to draw was this one, "Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers his righteousness on you." Hosea 10:12. I love the thought of the showers of righteousness and the fact that it starts with my sowing my own righteousness.

The silly part of my reaction is that all the Bible is mine to claim. I don't have to pull Hosea 10:12 out of a box in order to use it for encouragement. Anything I read can be used for benefit, as "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that all God’s people may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17

The task is mine to claim and cherish the verses God lays on my heart.

We didn't use all the gifts on Christmas Eve. I plan to soak in my original verse for a month, then open another one. Open your own gift from God today, read your Bible and see what God has to say.