Yesterday was spent creating two safe spaces, one in person and one virtually. We need places that are safe to speak, to be heard, to be understood, to be ourselves.
Since last week's election I have been amazed at how dangerous it can be to be honest, transparent, real. Especially on social media.
One of the most instructive verses I know is Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Over the last week, some are rejoicing. Some are mourning.
For those elated, allow them their safe space to feel that joy of victory. Hold them accountable to high levels of compassion and kindness, but refrain from ruining their joy by arguing down their candidate.
The election is over. We are done arguing the merits of each choice.
For those crushed, allow them their safe space to lament, rage, share their fears and concerns. Point them to hope, reassure them of your support, but refrain from stepping on their pain by continuing to argue the superiority of your position.
I have been amazed at so called "friends" especially "Christian" ones who are berating people's concerns instead of listening with grace.
We can create safe spaces, meetings, gatherings, private chats...but we can also BE a safe space, a literal epicenter of grace that draws to ourselves those in need of a listening ear, a warm heart, a hug virtual or in person. By the Spirit we can.
Let's be kind. We are all we have, each other, and that grace God gives us to share ourselves freely.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Do I Know Any Better How to Speak?
After reading my Bible this morning, a reflection:
Jeremiah
1:4-8
4 The word of the Lord came to me,
saying,
5 “Before I formed
you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
6 “Alas, Sovereign
Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”
7 But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I
send you to and say whatever I command you. 8
Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares
the Lord.
God
called me to ministry in my early 20s. I was too young.
I
did not know how to speak. But the Lord sent me anyway.
After
three decades I am not too young anymore.
Do
I know any better how to speak?
I
have birthed my own four babies and baptized other peoples.
I
have buried my parents, grandparents, good friends and parishioners.
I
have sat by sick beds, death beds and birth beds.
Do
I know any better how to speak?
I
have watched my church people experience racism first hand and painful.
I
have watched my city wrestle with racism and the fall out.
I
have now seen my grown daughter’s city do the same.
Do
I know any better how to speak?
I
have preached at least 1500 different sermons to the same church.
I
have led worship as many times, designed services to lead people to God.
I
have prayed with children, youth and adults to accept Christ.
Do
I know any better how to speak?
I
have guided my own children through the education system fighting for their disabilities
to be accommodated.
I
have guided other youth through the system helping them fight for their rights.
I
have supported teachers and administrators and students in hearing each other.
Do
I know any better how to speak?
I
have gone in the name of Christ to places in the city that others fear.
I
have gone in the name of Christ to tiny Togo where they serve a big God.
I
have served my denomination on committees and commissions and at conferences.
Do
I know any better how to speak?
What
have I gained in three decades that helps me speak for God?
I
hope I have learned to listen.
I
hope the pain of others has lodged in my heart.
I
hope the hope of others has secured a place beside the pain.
Perhaps
I am no less young in knowing how to speak.
But
from the beginning like Jeremiah God has sent me anyway.
Obedience
stays my hand and my mouth.
And
the promise of God, “Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you
and will rescue you.”
So
be it Lord.
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Ugly is as Ugly Does
Lately I've been ruminating on beauty as society judges it, and in particular how it affects women, although men are not immune to the attraction of being thought of as attractive. Many studies have shown the advantages of being seen as physically appealing as opposed to not so much.
Women in particular want to be seen as beautiful, mostly because since before anyone can remember that quality has been valued for them. If the chief job of a woman centers on wifedom and motherhood, then beauty helps achieve that precious position of acquiring a husband. So traditionally, women need to be pretty.
I love this poem my friend DJ posted recently:
Somehow we have valued beauty over other things we should find more important. My concern heightened recently due to public shaming based on appearance. Blue Ivy, the daughter of Beyonce, has been called ugly because she more closely resembles her father Jay Z than her mother. Rumer Willis, daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore has suffered the same taunts. In a recent roast Peyton Manning joked that Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby. When I read that I had to look up what on earth he meant, as his tasteless humor did not register. Although I wouldn't claim her political views, I cannot sanction comparing someone to a horse as funny or appropriate.
As this poet so aptly notes, what we should really value centers on accomplishment and ability not on outward appearance. We have little control over what we are born with, for good or ill. And who gets to decide what beauty is? Different standards dominate different cultures. When a dominant culture determines the standard, certain ethnic looks suffer more than others.
Along my walk through life I always find that the people who I grow to respect and love seem beautiful to me. Arrogance cannot hide behind a face that standards find attractive. I learned a great lesson when my great aunt Maggie required nursing home care. Maggie's hoped for suitor died in a long ago war and she never married. She would not have met the typical standard of beauty as promoted in magazines. Yet I listened with admiration at the nurse feeding her cooing, "She's so pretty." That nurse looked beyond cultural standards, straight to not just her heart, but her need to be loved and cared for. That's true beauty.
I feel confident saying that God's standard of beauty differs from our cultural choices. After all, I believe God made us all quite purposefully, and likes the variety of His own creations. Since I also believe God loves us all equally, surely he did not try to favor some with more beauty, but instead finds all of us beautiful.
I hope you can look in the mirror and believe that. And as you become convinced, I hope you can treat the others around you with the same positive regard. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, so let's have the eyes of God and see it in everyone.
Women in particular want to be seen as beautiful, mostly because since before anyone can remember that quality has been valued for them. If the chief job of a woman centers on wifedom and motherhood, then beauty helps achieve that precious position of acquiring a husband. So traditionally, women need to be pretty.
I love this poem my friend DJ posted recently:
Somehow we have valued beauty over other things we should find more important. My concern heightened recently due to public shaming based on appearance. Blue Ivy, the daughter of Beyonce, has been called ugly because she more closely resembles her father Jay Z than her mother. Rumer Willis, daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore has suffered the same taunts. In a recent roast Peyton Manning joked that Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby. When I read that I had to look up what on earth he meant, as his tasteless humor did not register. Although I wouldn't claim her political views, I cannot sanction comparing someone to a horse as funny or appropriate.
As this poet so aptly notes, what we should really value centers on accomplishment and ability not on outward appearance. We have little control over what we are born with, for good or ill. And who gets to decide what beauty is? Different standards dominate different cultures. When a dominant culture determines the standard, certain ethnic looks suffer more than others.
Along my walk through life I always find that the people who I grow to respect and love seem beautiful to me. Arrogance cannot hide behind a face that standards find attractive. I learned a great lesson when my great aunt Maggie required nursing home care. Maggie's hoped for suitor died in a long ago war and she never married. She would not have met the typical standard of beauty as promoted in magazines. Yet I listened with admiration at the nurse feeding her cooing, "She's so pretty." That nurse looked beyond cultural standards, straight to not just her heart, but her need to be loved and cared for. That's true beauty.
I feel confident saying that God's standard of beauty differs from our cultural choices. After all, I believe God made us all quite purposefully, and likes the variety of His own creations. Since I also believe God loves us all equally, surely he did not try to favor some with more beauty, but instead finds all of us beautiful.
I hope you can look in the mirror and believe that. And as you become convinced, I hope you can treat the others around you with the same positive regard. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, so let's have the eyes of God and see it in everyone.
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