Men and Church

Recently various complaints and campaigns have attacked the attitude of the church toward men. The gist of these complaints alleges that churches emasculate men. They point to the shortage of men in churches. They also note what has been called "Jesus is My Boyfriend" songs. They encourage our churches to be more men-friendly.

As a woman pastor, I find this all rather ironic. Yes, more women attend church than men. But who "runs" most churches? Men. Every mega-church is pastored by a man, perhaps with his wife, but no current listed top growing or largest church is pastored by a woman.

And as for those "Jesus is My Boyfriend" songs, who's writing those? Men. We'd have to sit down and decide which songs fall into that category to verify that it's only men, but most top worship songs are written by men, and the ones I can think of that I would say communicate this sentiment the strongest are written by men.

One video that is bemoaning the emasculation of men in the church has a newly emasculated man (yes, literally) showing up at the bar to drink beer with his male friends. Does being a real man mean you have to drink beer in bars? What about "real" Christian men that don't drink? Does that mean they're not "real" men?

I'm all for making men, and women, feel more welcome in the church. But I'm not sure we've really properly diagnosed the problem. The women pastors I know find men to be prevalent and strong in their churches. I personally think less authoritarian leadership attracts men, they don't have to fight for control and attention.

I also am not a big fan of "Jesus is My Boyfriend" songs, because I think the church ought to be singing songs with plural pronouns, not singular.

Personally I think the solution to this "problem" does not lie in looking for culturally constructed solutions, like drinking beer in bars. A healthy church is grounded in the model of the New Testament, where whole families came to Christ. The NT church was not individualistic like most American churches, so these concerns did not even exist. If we focus on the model we find there, everyone will find a place.