April 10

Today would have been my dad's birthday. This is the third one he hasn't been around for, so it's getting easier, but I still don't like it.

For some reason, perhaps the unexpected nature of my mother's death, her death anniversary has been the sad date in missing her. But for Dad, it has been his birthday.

Christmas of course is sad without him, but there are other people to enjoy and celebrate, and after all, it's Jesus' birthday first and foremost.

But on this date when I would normally celebrate my father, it is sad to not have him around to enjoy. The greatest loss is not having him here to rejoice with his grandchildren, rooting for their endeavors, being proud of their accomplishments. We attend yet another graduation this May without him.

When Junia graduated from high school four years ago Dad was not only present, we didn't even know he had cancer. We have photos of that day of celebration. Those are the last photos of Dad looking normal, as the following month brought his diagnosis, chemo, and a swift three month march to the grave.

So it's especially poignant to approach Junia's graduation four years later, and to realize all he has missed. I expect he's quite aware although in a different reality, yet we still can't hear his words of praise or feel his hug of congratulations.

Dad, I'll always miss you on April 10. You were a great dad and grandfather. Thanks for loving us all so well.