Pain Management

Our family isn't big on medication, so whenever someone has surgery, we struggle with how to use the prescription pain killers. The nurse always says to stay ahead of the pain, so typically the recovering patient avoids the pills, then takes one, then feels way too weird, and stops altogether or switches to an over the counter option.

Mind numbing pain can retard healing. But in general, pain tells us what is wrong, which helps us fix it. When I get dehydrated I get headaches, and I avoid taking medication so I can tell when I fix the problem. The pain is a symptom, the real problem is my body needs water. Fever means your body is fighting infection, so if you can stand it, allowing that fever to work helps you heal faster.

Figuring this out differs with the patient and the malady. A headache and a surgical incision require different treatment. No one else can really feel your pain or decide what is best for your healing.

This same truth applies to emotional pain. We can be bleeding from the heart and need immediate aid. That might even mean medication. Or professional counseling. Or simply a listening ear.

What it usually does not mean is numbing the pain with too much medication for too long or denying it's there in the first place. When a crisis first happens we often do shut down and that can provide us time to adjust. But in the long run, pain must be faced to be healed.

I have often compared grief to a river that we must cross to get to the other side. We can delay the crossing, but sooner or later we're better off if we get in. We may feel like we're going to drown someplace in the middle, but I believe God will not allow us to go under. There's no way around a river but through.

Grief applies to more than just the loss of a loved one to death, we grieve a lost marriage, a lost job, a child who rejects us, a move away from a familiar home, an injury that changes our ability to function, even the loss of functions as we age.

Whatever causes us emotional pain looms as real as having our arm amputated. The sooner we deal with it, the sooner we will find peace. Like an operation, a loss can leave a scar, but when skin forms a scar that new skin proves more resilient, and in the same way when we truly deal with loss the scar that forms makes us stronger.

People who have endured pain in their lives become more sensitive, more compassionate, more real. The opposite of pain is not numbness, it's healing. Trade numbing the pain for healing the pain. That requires active participation in the process, rather than avoidance and long term medication. I pray you have companions to walk with you toward healing.