Time Doesn't Heal

Time by itself does not heal. It does help somewhat in the case of losing a loved one. In the beginning we say things like: this time last week, and then this time last month, and then this time last year. When that first year ends, we do find more freedom to move forward.

However time alone will not heal past hurts. We must find forgiveness and resolution. Time will also not make selfish people into kinder people if we continue on our same path. Just getting older does not make anyone nicer. In fact quite the opposite. People whose lives have been very self-centered, tend to become even more self focused as they age and the ravages of aging give them all the more reason to focus on themselves.

This reminds me of another well used saying that isn't really true. Practice makes perfect. My daughter's violin teacher used to say practice makes permanent. This is much more accurate. For if we practice something incorrectly, then we just ingrain the bad habit. That's why it helps to have a teacher or coach watching to see if we are doing it correctly.

Same as to our spiritual lives. It helps to have feedback from people we trust, people who will tell us if we're on the right track. If we heed their comments, we can correct our journey and make progress. If we chose to ignore them, assuming they are simply misguided in their critique, we will lumber along the ruts of our self-possessed pathway to destruction.

However those who live selfless lies focusing on other people continue in that path even when they themselves are suffering. I see this keenly in the example of my dear friend, a professor from seminary days. He took care of his ailing wife for many years before her passing earlier this year. Now that he himself is dying of pancreatic cancer, his stated goals are to live life with joy and complain a little as possible. And he is succeeding.

Time alone will not do much positive for us. But time plus kindness will multiply many times over. Time plus Jesus will transform us into his likeness. And time plus selfless living, will make us into the people that everyone wants to visit. As evidenced by the fact that when I went to visit my dear friend, the nurse didn't even have to ask me who I was going to see. That's the path I want to be on as time marches onward.