The sun shines
Quietly rearranging the cold
Seamlessly interrupting the snow
Stabbing the doldrums with hope
Scattering fear and frozen postures
Into twirling dancing rays of anticipation.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Proposals Vs. Marriages
Today yet another YouTube proposal appeared on my Facebook feed, this one a half hour long. The site promoting it suggested that we should spend more time on weddings, months of preparation. I would suggest that the time spend on proposals and weddings falls in importance far behind the time spent on marriage itself.
Yesterday a woman was bemoaning that the most elaborate wedding she had ever witnessed lasted four months before the bride said her husband was too bossy. The family member telling the story lamented they had not done premarital counseling. Exactly.
If couples preparing for marriage actually prepared for their marriages instead of their proposals and weddings, they'd be grateful later. I feel bad for young men these days as these videos go viral, you can't just ask for her hand and give her a ring, you need a choreographer, back up singers and a video editor to perfect the moment.
So, men considering marriage...go ahead and make that proposal special, but go beyond that. Women, plan the wedding of your dreams, but don't leave it there. Both of you take the time to get some expert advice on your relationship, so that your marriage outlasts your YouTube fame.
Yesterday a woman was bemoaning that the most elaborate wedding she had ever witnessed lasted four months before the bride said her husband was too bossy. The family member telling the story lamented they had not done premarital counseling. Exactly.
If couples preparing for marriage actually prepared for their marriages instead of their proposals and weddings, they'd be grateful later. I feel bad for young men these days as these videos go viral, you can't just ask for her hand and give her a ring, you need a choreographer, back up singers and a video editor to perfect the moment.
So, men considering marriage...go ahead and make that proposal special, but go beyond that. Women, plan the wedding of your dreams, but don't leave it there. Both of you take the time to get some expert advice on your relationship, so that your marriage outlasts your YouTube fame.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Regret
This summer I have preached a series on An Authentic Life. My last sermon called An Authentic End focused on living well to die well. While preparing my sermon I found myself quite aware of the choices I made. Years ago I determined to live life without regret. So last week while my daughters were home, I treasured that rare moment, their only visit together between Christmases, and chose not to participate in some of my typical responsibilities. I often choose relationships over other events.
I am grateful that I have no huge regret in my life, no big event that changed my path that I wish hadn't. But I realized while preparing my sermon that regrettable choices can creep in through slow benign neglect.
Two years ago I decided to get healthy. I wasn't in terrible health, but I had let my weight creep slowly out of bounds. I began pursuing a healthier lifestyle, eating and exercise, to try to capitalize my health and live a long fruitful life, especially for the sake of my family. The choices I made that put on unwanted pounds happened daily in small increments, not a life shattering moment. Yet the results still affect me, and know in the same painstaking way I must reverse the trend.
If we want to die well, we have to live well. That includes living without regret, and that regret comes not just from landmark decisions we make, but also from daily negligence. Take stock of your current choices and the path they are leading you down. You'll never regret rethinking your life.
I am grateful that I have no huge regret in my life, no big event that changed my path that I wish hadn't. But I realized while preparing my sermon that regrettable choices can creep in through slow benign neglect.
Two years ago I decided to get healthy. I wasn't in terrible health, but I had let my weight creep slowly out of bounds. I began pursuing a healthier lifestyle, eating and exercise, to try to capitalize my health and live a long fruitful life, especially for the sake of my family. The choices I made that put on unwanted pounds happened daily in small increments, not a life shattering moment. Yet the results still affect me, and know in the same painstaking way I must reverse the trend.
If we want to die well, we have to live well. That includes living without regret, and that regret comes not just from landmark decisions we make, but also from daily negligence. Take stock of your current choices and the path they are leading you down. You'll never regret rethinking your life.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Where God Takes Me
Sunday I preached on the good Samaritan and loving your neighbor.
This morning while taking my walk I crossed paths with a neighbor who has recently lost his wife. I already saw him right after she died, on my street, which was amazing as well. I had been wondering if he is still working in the cemetery where I walk, and today he was driving a tractor cleaning the roads. So that answered my question, and I was able to talk to him about his grief.
This encounter made me late to lunch with some supporters of Roger's ministry, but seemed like a good example of not passing by the person in need, as the priest does in the good Samaritan story.
Then on my way back from lunch I saw another neighbor from my church I have been meaning to text since Sunday but hadn't yet. Good timing because he was leaving town and I know to pray for his trip and we set up an appointment for Sunday.
Next I had to take a young woman from church to get her birth control shot. She needs this, she is already raising three children with no resources, and her current boyfriend is not their father. As I drove her to the appointment, I didn't realize we were going to Planned Parenthood.
I had kind of a visceral reaction to having to go in the building. Years ago I accompanied a friend for an abortion, and I'll never forget the MARRIED woman who after aborting her baby said, "That was easy, why does anyone have children?" Although I would have not chosen an abortion personally, I could understand my friend choosing one at that point in her young life, but I could not understand that people who were married would be irresponsible enough not to use birth control then to abort an inconvenient baby, and probably do it again.
Now here I was, across the hall from the "Surgical Center." Next to me in the clinic room lay magazines, in particular, Seventeen. How sad that so many teens are sexually active and either want abortions or require birth control. I prayed while sitting there, not quite sure why God put this experience in my day, but wanting to be obedient. May God use even this for God's glory.
This morning while taking my walk I crossed paths with a neighbor who has recently lost his wife. I already saw him right after she died, on my street, which was amazing as well. I had been wondering if he is still working in the cemetery where I walk, and today he was driving a tractor cleaning the roads. So that answered my question, and I was able to talk to him about his grief.
This encounter made me late to lunch with some supporters of Roger's ministry, but seemed like a good example of not passing by the person in need, as the priest does in the good Samaritan story.
Then on my way back from lunch I saw another neighbor from my church I have been meaning to text since Sunday but hadn't yet. Good timing because he was leaving town and I know to pray for his trip and we set up an appointment for Sunday.
Next I had to take a young woman from church to get her birth control shot. She needs this, she is already raising three children with no resources, and her current boyfriend is not their father. As I drove her to the appointment, I didn't realize we were going to Planned Parenthood.
I had kind of a visceral reaction to having to go in the building. Years ago I accompanied a friend for an abortion, and I'll never forget the MARRIED woman who after aborting her baby said, "That was easy, why does anyone have children?" Although I would have not chosen an abortion personally, I could understand my friend choosing one at that point in her young life, but I could not understand that people who were married would be irresponsible enough not to use birth control then to abort an inconvenient baby, and probably do it again.
Now here I was, across the hall from the "Surgical Center." Next to me in the clinic room lay magazines, in particular, Seventeen. How sad that so many teens are sexually active and either want abortions or require birth control. I prayed while sitting there, not quite sure why God put this experience in my day, but wanting to be obedient. May God use even this for God's glory.
Monday, July 15, 2013
My Stand
Saturday night when I went to bed I checked my phone and saw an email from the NAACP asking me to sign a petition related to the acquittal of George Zimmerman. That's how I found out. From there I logged onto Facebook and saw the proliferation of responses on my news feed. It took me awhile to get to sleep.
The next morning at church 86% of churches did not address this issue. I was one of those pastors. Not because I didn't want to talk about it, but because I still didn't know what to say. Yet this issue loomed in my heart all morning, and I appreciated worshiping with my more black than white church.
It's taken me a couple of days to process and decide what to say in response. In two weeks I am preaching on race, so while I'm behind, this will be addressed. I can't just ignore it.
When I look at my Facebook news feed, I get a pretty good picture of our nation on this. As someone else explained, black people take this as a pattern, while white people take it as an isolated incident, which is pretty much the difference between the races and justice issues all the time, as illustrated in Divided by Faith by Michael Emerson and Christian Smith.
Some of my white friends and family just don't get the problem, the defendant was acquitted, move on. Let me say that two years ago I sat on a jury for a young man accused of murders, two separate scenarios. Our jury found him guilty of one, and not of the other. In talking to the police afterward, they felt confident he committed both. But the evidence as presented left reasonable doubt, and they understood why we chose the way we did. The responsibility of deciding someone's fate feels pretty overwhelming. So unlike some folks, I won't vilify the jury, I don't think the case was presented clearly enough under the laws of Florida for them to make a good decision. We can't go back and fix that.
However we need to bring systemic changes to our system. A recent article in the Wall Street Journal about racial profiling in New York City shows that the NYPD stopped more young black males than live there. Books like Michelle Alexander's The New Jim Crow show that blacks have been criminalized for crimes to a level that means fewer black men can vote now that before voting laws changed. These are the realities that the black community lives with daily.
We just sent five teens and our youth worker on bicycles from Cincinnati to Niagara Falls. Yes, literally, they rode their bikes 550 miles. What an accomplishment! I couldn't be prouder of all of them. Yet these same young men could easily be racially profiled and fall victim to the same treatment Trayvon Martin and so many others have suffered.
Many of my friends and family comment on the great work that Roger and I do in our ministry. We appreciate that affirmation. We hope we are doing what God called us to. And we cannot minister in the black community and ignore these issues. So don't praise me for my work, then chastise me for taking a stand. I can do no other.
The next morning at church 86% of churches did not address this issue. I was one of those pastors. Not because I didn't want to talk about it, but because I still didn't know what to say. Yet this issue loomed in my heart all morning, and I appreciated worshiping with my more black than white church.
It's taken me a couple of days to process and decide what to say in response. In two weeks I am preaching on race, so while I'm behind, this will be addressed. I can't just ignore it.
When I look at my Facebook news feed, I get a pretty good picture of our nation on this. As someone else explained, black people take this as a pattern, while white people take it as an isolated incident, which is pretty much the difference between the races and justice issues all the time, as illustrated in Divided by Faith by Michael Emerson and Christian Smith.
Some of my white friends and family just don't get the problem, the defendant was acquitted, move on. Let me say that two years ago I sat on a jury for a young man accused of murders, two separate scenarios. Our jury found him guilty of one, and not of the other. In talking to the police afterward, they felt confident he committed both. But the evidence as presented left reasonable doubt, and they understood why we chose the way we did. The responsibility of deciding someone's fate feels pretty overwhelming. So unlike some folks, I won't vilify the jury, I don't think the case was presented clearly enough under the laws of Florida for them to make a good decision. We can't go back and fix that.
However we need to bring systemic changes to our system. A recent article in the Wall Street Journal about racial profiling in New York City shows that the NYPD stopped more young black males than live there. Books like Michelle Alexander's The New Jim Crow show that blacks have been criminalized for crimes to a level that means fewer black men can vote now that before voting laws changed. These are the realities that the black community lives with daily.
We just sent five teens and our youth worker on bicycles from Cincinnati to Niagara Falls. Yes, literally, they rode their bikes 550 miles. What an accomplishment! I couldn't be prouder of all of them. Yet these same young men could easily be racially profiled and fall victim to the same treatment Trayvon Martin and so many others have suffered.
Many of my friends and family comment on the great work that Roger and I do in our ministry. We appreciate that affirmation. We hope we are doing what God called us to. And we cannot minister in the black community and ignore these issues. So don't praise me for my work, then chastise me for taking a stand. I can do no other.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Hoops and Heaven
Dart grew up in our church, married his sweetheart he met there, and they had a baby later, providing a good role model for other young men in our church. He recently moved back into the neighborhood and has engaged with local youth. Lately he has consistently brought Desmond to church. Two weeks ago Desmond asked me if he could be baptized.
Last week I didn't arrange that meeting, my fault entirely. But on Monday Desmond showed up in my backyard playing basketball, and I asked if we could talk.
He agreed and donned his t-shirt before joining me on my back stoop. I asked him his understanding of becoming a Christian, which he had little, so I turned through my Bible and walked him through verses to explain it.
I then asked if he wanted to make a commitment to Christ, and he said he did. I suggested he pray privately to ask for forgiveness, and he spent a good amount of time before indicating he was ready for the next step.
After our conversation I had a group with younger children from church, and didn't have any time to notify Dart. But as I drove around the corner after that group, Dart was coming out of his house and I was able to tell him in person. God arranges our steps.
I told Desmond the angels have a party anytime someone chooses to believe. They got to party yesterday over a young 16-year-old making good choices on the cusp of manhood, being influenced by a slightly older man showing him the fruit of good choices. Nothing better than pastoring in partnership with laypeople who are doing their part to draw others in. That's an assist even more impressive than Rondo leading the NBA.
Last week I didn't arrange that meeting, my fault entirely. But on Monday Desmond showed up in my backyard playing basketball, and I asked if we could talk.
He agreed and donned his t-shirt before joining me on my back stoop. I asked him his understanding of becoming a Christian, which he had little, so I turned through my Bible and walked him through verses to explain it.
I then asked if he wanted to make a commitment to Christ, and he said he did. I suggested he pray privately to ask for forgiveness, and he spent a good amount of time before indicating he was ready for the next step.
After our conversation I had a group with younger children from church, and didn't have any time to notify Dart. But as I drove around the corner after that group, Dart was coming out of his house and I was able to tell him in person. God arranges our steps.
I told Desmond the angels have a party anytime someone chooses to believe. They got to party yesterday over a young 16-year-old making good choices on the cusp of manhood, being influenced by a slightly older man showing him the fruit of good choices. Nothing better than pastoring in partnership with laypeople who are doing their part to draw others in. That's an assist even more impressive than Rondo leading the NBA.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
But Not Like That
My last post communicated how I want to be like my dog in my devotion to God, getting up to follow God's lead, sitting and waiting when God does.
But I don't want to follow the way Roo follows. Because she doesn't actually follow. She walks ahead of me, although she wants to be going with me, she walks in front with her neck craned around so she can see if I'm still coming. With her head backwards, she often runs into things, since she's not watching where she's going, but watching me instead. Following would be much safer.
But isn't that how we often do? We say we want to follow God, but we get out in front, not really sure what direction God is headed since we are anticipating by running on ahead, yet since we're making sure God is coming along we aren't really watching where we're going either, and hence running into obstacles.
So much easier to just follow. If we fix our eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2) we can see the path and the leader and whatever is in our way. Maybe someday Roo will figure this out. Meanwhile she reminds me of what to avoid.
But I don't want to follow the way Roo follows. Because she doesn't actually follow. She walks ahead of me, although she wants to be going with me, she walks in front with her neck craned around so she can see if I'm still coming. With her head backwards, she often runs into things, since she's not watching where she's going, but watching me instead. Following would be much safer.
But isn't that how we often do? We say we want to follow God, but we get out in front, not really sure what direction God is headed since we are anticipating by running on ahead, yet since we're making sure God is coming along we aren't really watching where we're going either, and hence running into obstacles.
So much easier to just follow. If we fix our eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2) we can see the path and the leader and whatever is in our way. Maybe someday Roo will figure this out. Meanwhile she reminds me of what to avoid.
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