When a mother gives birth, the placenta leaves a large wound that bleeds until healing. Her uterus also has to reshape itself after stretching to accommodate the baby. Typically six weeks is seen as an expected time of healing. Typically the mother is thrilled to have a baby, yet also feels the surprising sense of separation inherent in no longer carrying the child internally.
Over the next 18 or so years as the child grows in all dimensions, the mother's heart is stretched to accommodate. When the child leaves home, an invisible wound occurs as she adjusts to the physical absence of this once baby. Her heart has to figure out how to adjust to the new separation, how to reshape itself to this new reality.
Society doesn't easily recognize this adjustment. Many people rejoice in the change, and many who ask about it expect the new empty nester to be thrilled with the freedom gained. Like the original birth, joy comes with the change, and yet, nevertheless, a wound that weeps as it tries to heal.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Shouting in Silence
Zechariah suffered in silence for nine months, until John the Baptist was born. It's only been days for me since I lost my voice, but I have a few things to "say."
As best as I can remember, this is my third experience with laryngitis. The first time was around Christmas, and I had a wedding to perform. I delegated what I could to my husband to say, but then as the pastor and officiant, I had some pieces required of me. The couple dubbed their video the miracle of the voice as my voice grows stronger while I'm speaking.
This Sunday God did another miracle, in a sense two. I awoke hoarse and concerned, rallied my family to pray, knowing I needed my voice to both preach and leading singing. Our strongest singer was out of town, so my worship leading depended on my voice. I got through the whole service, which could have made me wonder if I had worried in vain, but by afternoon, my voice had left, justifying my conclusion that God had indeed spared my voice for the necessary moments.
However we still had our youth program, and I have been teaching the teen boys. They've been a bit of a challenge, so I couldn't hand that off to just anyone, but also knew I didn't have the voice to deal with them. I asked Brandon to help, thinking perhaps he could fill in for Roger with the preschoolers and Roger could tackle the older boys. Brandon is a young man who grew up in the church and with our family, who has completed his service in the Navy and is now in school.
Roger said to have Brandon do the teaching with the boys, since I would still be present to maintain order if needed. I prepped Brandon that we were doing Matthew 11:28-30, where Jesus invites us to exchange our heavy burdens for his light yoke. I told him to have them talk about their current struggles as well as concerns they might have about becoming men. As we started, the boys were all sitting quietly listening, instead of literally bouncing off the walls as they can. Brandon was explaining the passage, then started telling them about his life, being raised by a single mom with an alcohol problem. That's when I slipped from the room. He obviously didn't need me, and I thought they might have a better man talk without me.
How cool is God, I had my voice when I needed it in the morning, then losing my voice later pushed a circumstance that I would not have instigated otherwise. I will be gone next Sunday so I asked him if he'd help again. Two miracles in one day.
The other previous time I lost my voice I remember visiting my extroverted father and how frustrated he got that I couldn't talk to him. Quite frankly as an introvert, this doesn't bother me all that much. Silence appeals to me. But it does become a social problem. As I have traveled around doing errands this week, I often feel rude when I cannot simply respond in common courtesy to others.
This makes me think of those without a voice, deaf or mute, cut off from the typical communication around them. How isolating that must be.
On the up side, it's hard to complain without a voice. On the down side, it's also hard to communicate at all.
Last night I attended an Emmaus training where I am the "head" pastor. My associate had to fill in for me, which she is quite capable of. In many ways my unavailability helps others step up. No one is indispensable.
I don't have to preach this week, or lead worship, so that is good timing. However I am celebrating my oldest daughter's birthday with her sister, so I would love to be able to talk...but then again, this will leave plenty of time for me to listen!
I will enjoy being back in the world of communication again. Meanwhile, I am trying to learn what I can from the silence.
As best as I can remember, this is my third experience with laryngitis. The first time was around Christmas, and I had a wedding to perform. I delegated what I could to my husband to say, but then as the pastor and officiant, I had some pieces required of me. The couple dubbed their video the miracle of the voice as my voice grows stronger while I'm speaking.
This Sunday God did another miracle, in a sense two. I awoke hoarse and concerned, rallied my family to pray, knowing I needed my voice to both preach and leading singing. Our strongest singer was out of town, so my worship leading depended on my voice. I got through the whole service, which could have made me wonder if I had worried in vain, but by afternoon, my voice had left, justifying my conclusion that God had indeed spared my voice for the necessary moments.
However we still had our youth program, and I have been teaching the teen boys. They've been a bit of a challenge, so I couldn't hand that off to just anyone, but also knew I didn't have the voice to deal with them. I asked Brandon to help, thinking perhaps he could fill in for Roger with the preschoolers and Roger could tackle the older boys. Brandon is a young man who grew up in the church and with our family, who has completed his service in the Navy and is now in school.
Roger said to have Brandon do the teaching with the boys, since I would still be present to maintain order if needed. I prepped Brandon that we were doing Matthew 11:28-30, where Jesus invites us to exchange our heavy burdens for his light yoke. I told him to have them talk about their current struggles as well as concerns they might have about becoming men. As we started, the boys were all sitting quietly listening, instead of literally bouncing off the walls as they can. Brandon was explaining the passage, then started telling them about his life, being raised by a single mom with an alcohol problem. That's when I slipped from the room. He obviously didn't need me, and I thought they might have a better man talk without me.
How cool is God, I had my voice when I needed it in the morning, then losing my voice later pushed a circumstance that I would not have instigated otherwise. I will be gone next Sunday so I asked him if he'd help again. Two miracles in one day.
The other previous time I lost my voice I remember visiting my extroverted father and how frustrated he got that I couldn't talk to him. Quite frankly as an introvert, this doesn't bother me all that much. Silence appeals to me. But it does become a social problem. As I have traveled around doing errands this week, I often feel rude when I cannot simply respond in common courtesy to others.
This makes me think of those without a voice, deaf or mute, cut off from the typical communication around them. How isolating that must be.
On the up side, it's hard to complain without a voice. On the down side, it's also hard to communicate at all.
Last night I attended an Emmaus training where I am the "head" pastor. My associate had to fill in for me, which she is quite capable of. In many ways my unavailability helps others step up. No one is indispensable.
I don't have to preach this week, or lead worship, so that is good timing. However I am celebrating my oldest daughter's birthday with her sister, so I would love to be able to talk...but then again, this will leave plenty of time for me to listen!
I will enjoy being back in the world of communication again. Meanwhile, I am trying to learn what I can from the silence.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Justice and Forgiveness
We love to quote Isaiah 1 where it says though our sins be as scarlet, they will be as white as snow. We even sing about it. We love the image of our blood red dirty sins being forgiven and washed away, leaving us pure and holy.
Christmas Eve we drew verses to meditate on in the New Year, and I got this section of Scripture, except the whole part I got was:
Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. “Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. Isaiah 1:17-18
We have singled out the part we like about how God will forgive us. But the passage is really about justice, and that the people God is talking to have hands stained scarlet from injustice, which they need to fix.
So yes, claim this verse to receive cleansing. But if you really want it to work, be ready to work for justice first. Be ready to release the wrongdoing you are guilty of. And since it also includes God asking us to come to him and settle the matter, be ready to learn there is more required than you are first aware.
Christmas Eve we drew verses to meditate on in the New Year, and I got this section of Scripture, except the whole part I got was:
Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. “Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. Isaiah 1:17-18
We have singled out the part we like about how God will forgive us. But the passage is really about justice, and that the people God is talking to have hands stained scarlet from injustice, which they need to fix.
So yes, claim this verse to receive cleansing. But if you really want it to work, be ready to work for justice first. Be ready to release the wrongdoing you are guilty of. And since it also includes God asking us to come to him and settle the matter, be ready to learn there is more required than you are first aware.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Exceeding Expectation
Jesus once fell asleep in the boat during a storm. The disciples awoke him, amazed at his indifference to their plight. He evidently knew it wasn't a problem. Then when they asked for his assistance, he spoke to the wind and waves and they instantly fell still.
This caused the disciples to remark, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!" He exceeded their expectations. Perhaps they expected a gradual subsiding of the storm. Or just reassurance of survival despite the storm, like Paul later gave his shipmates in a storm. Instead Jesus fixed it.
Ephesians 3:20 says "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us", can do IMMEASURABLY more than we can ask or IMAGINE. Wow. That's saying something.
So why doesn't this happen more? Perhaps because like the disciples, we don't expect it? We don't even allow it? What if we got out of God's way and let God really do something dramatic?
This caused the disciples to remark, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!" He exceeded their expectations. Perhaps they expected a gradual subsiding of the storm. Or just reassurance of survival despite the storm, like Paul later gave his shipmates in a storm. Instead Jesus fixed it.
Ephesians 3:20 says "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us", can do IMMEASURABLY more than we can ask or IMAGINE. Wow. That's saying something.
So why doesn't this happen more? Perhaps because like the disciples, we don't expect it? We don't even allow it? What if we got out of God's way and let God really do something dramatic?
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Promises
On Christmas Eve we had a special service where each person could select a gift, a wrapped box containing a Biblical promise. As I chose verses to include, I got really excited about some of them. I would find myself saying, I’d like that verse. When the time came to choose, and I opened my box, and read my verse, and I was disappointed. It wasn’t the verse I wanted. What is more, I felt like it was a verse I already had well in hand, something I was already doing. I would guess that God didn’t think so.
The premise of the activity was that all the verses would be good life guides, but that the Holy Spirit would supervise who got what verse. That would trust that God knows what we could use to guide us.
Here’s the amazing part of the Bible. My verse starting by saying, “Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.” Now I feel like I already do that, defend the oppressed and the fatherless and the widow. So I could take that God gave this verse as an affirmation and encouragement of the work he has already given me to do. In addition, this verse begins by saying Learn to do right. That is a lifelong lesson. We know what is right, but to apply it correctly in every situation, that is an everyday learning experience. I can’t honestly say that I still need to work on that, all of us will always be continuing to learn to do right. So this verse certainly applies to me.
The verse I wanted to draw was this one, "Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers his righteousness on you." Hosea 10:12. I love the thought of the showers of righteousness and the fact that it starts with my sowing my own righteousness.
The silly part of my reaction is that all the Bible is mine to claim. I don't have to pull Hosea 10:12 out of a box in order to use it for encouragement. Anything I read can be used for benefit, as "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that all God’s people may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17
The task is mine to claim and cherish the verses God lays on my heart.
We didn't use all the gifts on Christmas Eve. I plan to soak in my original verse for a month, then open another one. Open your own gift from God today, read your Bible and see what God has to say.
The premise of the activity was that all the verses would be good life guides, but that the Holy Spirit would supervise who got what verse. That would trust that God knows what we could use to guide us.
Here’s the amazing part of the Bible. My verse starting by saying, “Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.” Now I feel like I already do that, defend the oppressed and the fatherless and the widow. So I could take that God gave this verse as an affirmation and encouragement of the work he has already given me to do. In addition, this verse begins by saying Learn to do right. That is a lifelong lesson. We know what is right, but to apply it correctly in every situation, that is an everyday learning experience. I can’t honestly say that I still need to work on that, all of us will always be continuing to learn to do right. So this verse certainly applies to me.
The verse I wanted to draw was this one, "Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers his righteousness on you." Hosea 10:12. I love the thought of the showers of righteousness and the fact that it starts with my sowing my own righteousness.
The silly part of my reaction is that all the Bible is mine to claim. I don't have to pull Hosea 10:12 out of a box in order to use it for encouragement. Anything I read can be used for benefit, as "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that all God’s people may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17
The task is mine to claim and cherish the verses God lays on my heart.
We didn't use all the gifts on Christmas Eve. I plan to soak in my original verse for a month, then open another one. Open your own gift from God today, read your Bible and see what God has to say.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Waiting Update
Turns out it doesn't normally take 4 hours to examine a newborn. The baby fell out of her car seat on the way into the appointment and they were watching to make sure she was OK before releasing her. Thankfully she seems fine. And I'm glad I waited for this young mother, whose own mother died a few years back.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Waiting
John Lennon said "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." I wonder what to call what happens to you when you're "busy" waiting for someone?
Efficiency experts suggest one should always have something available to do. I don't always have that foresight, and even when I do, I find waiting distracting. Expecting someone to show up at any moment really interferes with my focus. I could always using waiting time to pray, but sitting in a waiting room with a TV truly inhibits prayer. And I keep thinking that the person I brought to the doctor should be done any minute. Does it really take 3 hours to examine a newborn? Did I really agree to do this during my busiest week of the year?
When this is over, it would be great if I could see some overarching purpose for my time that seems to be wasted in a week with too little time. But I have a feeling it will just be chalked up to a ride needed, nothing more noble or earthshattering than that.
Advent is about waiting. The Israelites waited centuries for the Messiah, then most of them missed the moment. I hope I don't miss Jesus showing up.
Meanwhile, I think someone's car needs a jump...who knows...just maybe...
Efficiency experts suggest one should always have something available to do. I don't always have that foresight, and even when I do, I find waiting distracting. Expecting someone to show up at any moment really interferes with my focus. I could always using waiting time to pray, but sitting in a waiting room with a TV truly inhibits prayer. And I keep thinking that the person I brought to the doctor should be done any minute. Does it really take 3 hours to examine a newborn? Did I really agree to do this during my busiest week of the year?
When this is over, it would be great if I could see some overarching purpose for my time that seems to be wasted in a week with too little time. But I have a feeling it will just be chalked up to a ride needed, nothing more noble or earthshattering than that.
Advent is about waiting. The Israelites waited centuries for the Messiah, then most of them missed the moment. I hope I don't miss Jesus showing up.
Meanwhile, I think someone's car needs a jump...who knows...just maybe...
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